During my first few years of working as a psychologist I experienced vicarious trauma. It was challenging at the time, but ultimately became a learning experience that was meaningful within my career trajectory. This is my reflection on experiencing vicarious trauma and how I was able to move through it to move forward.
What is Vicarious Trauma?
Vicarious trauma occurs when an individual experiences symptoms of trauma that result from seeing, hearing, or learning about another person’s experience of trauma.
Symptoms of vicarious trauma closely mirror those of trauma experienced firsthand. They can include nightmares, changes to your thoughts and beliefs (often becoming more negative), agitation, irritability, anxiety, avoidance and more.
I experienced some of these in various forms. Nightmares startled me awake during the night causing me to jump out of bed in a confused state. I was more anxious and avoidant of topics related to the trauma. I noticed a change in my beliefs about myself, others, and the world.
One of the most perplexing things about experiencing vicarious trauma was that I didn’t realise what was happening until it had been occurring for some time. It crept up on me slowly and found ways to subtly intrude into my life. I was still able to practice and felt I was providing the best care possible to my clients, but outside of sessions there were subtle things happening.
As a (hopefully!) relatively self-aware and reflective person, it was surprising when I fully realised what was happening. It left me stumped. As a trained psychologist I was left wondering, how on earth did this happen?! I was surprised not to have recognised the signs within myself.
During my Masters training, I cannot recall much thorough education about vicarious trauma taking place.
Of course, the concept itself was flagged and we were told to be aware of it and to take good care of ourselves. But that was about where the conversation ended. I cannot recall any deeper education about it taking place.
As a result, I lacked a framework for recognising the signs of vicarious trauma as they were occurring, being aware of the unique risk factors for developing it, and understanding how to heal from it.
A ‘preventative’ approach was lacking, and instead I found myself in the position of needing to find a ‘cure’.
Healing from Vicarious Trauma
An important first step for me to heal from vicarious trauma was understanding how it had happened in the first place.
Some reflective discussions in supervision led me to identify that there were some unique risk factors that were apparent in my clinical work, that had contributed to its development.
These included:
A high level of relatability to the clients I was working with in terms of personal/demographic characteristics.
A high level of empathy and strong sense of social justice for the presenting issues.
A personally and professionally held sense of responsibility for helping clients with their concerns.
Embarking on learning a new, tailored therapy model for the presenting issues.
The combination and culmination of working with a new treatment approach, for an issue I cared deeply about, with people I could really relate to created the ‘perfect storm’ to being more vulnerable to experiencing vicarious trauma.
EMDR and the ‘Flash’ Technique for Vicarious Trauma
Once I had recognised and accepted the ‘how did I get here’, the next step was to figure out a way forward.
At this point, I was introduced to EMDR therapy and some of its related techniques, such as the ‘Flash’ technique. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing therapy and it is an evidence-based therapy for PTSD and trauma. ‘Flash’ is not EMDR itself but is a related technique within the world of EMDR.
I was lucky enough to receive support in the form of the ‘Flash’ technique which I am really pleased to say helped to resolve my symptoms of vicarious trauma. Flash allowed me to process and resolve the symptoms including the nightmares, anxiety, avoidance, and changes to my beliefs.
Since completing ‘Flash’ I haven’t experienced any further symptoms.
Moving Forward
I noticed almost immediately the personal and professional impact of processing the vicarious trauma.
I had a much greater appetite for learning about and working within the field of trauma, and the sense of responsibility that had previously weighed on me felt lighter.
With a renewed capacity to pursue further professional development in the area, this increased my confidence and competence for trauma-related work, and in turn as I successfully implemented this work with clients this created a positive feedback loop for sustaining more positive beliefs about myself and my professional competencies.
Post-Traumatic Growth
Post-traumatic growth refers to the experience of being affected by trauma and finding a way to create new meaning from it, in order to live life in a different way.
I can safely say that this experience contributed to a new area of growth for me.
I have since trained in EMDR therapy myself after having benefitted from it and have really enjoyed implementing this with clients. I have also continued to hone my skills in other trauma-specific therapies such as Cognitive Processing Therapy.
Supporting clients to recover from trauma has become more of an interest area, and I feel more confident and capable in this area.
While I hope no one (client or professional) has to experience trauma or vicarious trauma, I intend to use my experiences to support other psychologists to be aware of vicarious trauma, to understand the risk factors for it, and to feel more confident in being able to proactively prevent it.
As a result, I have openly shared my experiences with colleagues, in peer supervision, and with supervisees. My hope and intention is that through these small acts of sharing, this contributes in a micro way to building awareness and openness regarding vicarious trauma within the profession, so we can continue to support our fellow colleagues and clients effectively.
If you are struggling with trauma or vicarious trauma, please do reach out. There is help available.
To get in touch for therapy (clients) or professional supervision (for psychologists), contact reception@curiousmindsstudio.com.au
If you would like to learn more about therapy for trauma-related concerns, you may like to read our blogs about EMDR and Cognitive Processing Therapy.